Sunday, September 5, 2010

Born to be Wild

It’s Bike Week in Ignacio. So, of course, I got in my little car and drove down there to see the show.

Mark doesn’t do biker stuff. He says he was born to be mild. He once asked me if he bored me. I howled. No. Dumb men bore me. He asked when I had ever dated a dumb man. I once had a boyfriend who believed that Corning Ware purchased at the big expensive department store was of superior quality than Corning Ware purchased at KMart. Duh. I think the poor man still believes that.

I once dated a very pretty man who used the word ‘exasperate’ when he meant ‘exacerbate.’ In the end, which came quickly, his continued dumbness just exacerbated the problem, which exasperated me and I quit answering the phone for a while.

I also dated a man so dumb that he thought my sister would be a better match for him. I told him to go for it; I figured that if it worked out for them they deserved one another. She laughed out loud when he asked her out, told him she wouldn’t be caught dead in his old car. So he came back to me and I just shook my head-- I never accept being second choice.

Mark is the first man who can keep up to me intellectually. I love that we can discuss books and ideas.

So, patient man that he is, he sent me off with, “Have fun with the bikers, honey. Don’t run off with one; come home to me.”

I drove into town with bikers in front of me and bikers behind me. Traffic was slow, but it was, in effect, a parade. So I enjoyed the entrance and cruised with the bikers. Cut off on a side street to park.

I was remembering my first rally--thirty years ago-- the Vetter Rally in Colorado Springs. That one was fully enclosed. Three days of rally complete with contests and concerts. The “Best Biker Dog” Award was won by a Siamese cat in a leather jacket and a little helmet that had openings for his ears. He won by sitting regally on the bike’s gas tank while his human drove the obstacle course.

Ignacio Bike Week is nothing like that. Open, out in the street and in your face. Strutting and posing.

One of the events that I had to see was the “Biker Bull Riding.” These guys and gals are macho to the max, but they get on that bull and get tossed in the air in no time. It all ends in a melee called “The Ring of Fear.” About six brave, or foolish, souls get into with a bull that has colored ribbons taped to its horns-- the object is to grab a ribbon for a cash prize. Meanwhile there is a rope suspended 50 feet into the air from a crane and the rope had money entwined into it-- so the contestants are trying to climb it and grab whatever bills they can get. Total mayhem and funnier than hell.

It was fun. And exhausting. And I came home to my mild man, who was happy when I called to tell him I was home safe.

I love him for that.

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